Helicopter Landing

Oregon 2011 126

Over the last month, my son discovered Facebook.  I feel like he just handed me a grenade…and pulled the pin (no, I will not be less dramatic).  Yes, we have his password and yes, he knows this. Now the fun begins.  I can barely keep up with monitoring all the posting, liking, messaging. It’s like a full time job! Things seemed to be going pretty smoothly until we came across some activities that made me think the grenade I am holding just went off. We’ve suspended his account until we can all sit down and talk about it.  Initially, the approach I suggested we take was kind of a ‘drill Sgt/lunatic combo with a dash of calmness (to seem reasonable)’. After regrouping, I decided to look into how others have handled it. Seems possible options are:

  • be the ‘helicopter’ parent-watch his every move
  • public discipline-which is really, public humiliation
  • mutuality-constructing a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding

Truth be known, I am more of the ‘helicopter’ variety than anything else. The public discipline is way too extreme. But the mutuality? Maybe (just maybe), I could try.  This situation has made me reflect on my current parenting style and who I really want to be as a parent.  This reminds me when, as a teen myself, my dad once saying to me ‘I have no idea what I’m doing!’ Now I know what he’s talking about!

For those who are also holding the same grenade (or know it’s coming), I found some information here and here.

Now go enjoy a cup of tea!


6 thoughts on “Helicopter Landing

  1. I’m going to have to eventually refer back to this. I dread the day…my kids are still 7 & 9. My 9 year old just started playing video games…I’m going to hold him off of Facebook for as long as possible…and cell phone/texting.
    YIKES! We’ve started talking about this whole first cell phone thing too, and my husband and I can not determine a good age…whether we want to be the odd ball family that doesn’t allow kids to have phones at all…or not until they are 16. It’s going to come down to how responsible they are…

    I knew parenting wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t think it would be this difficult either.

    • Sandi, we held off for a long time and luckily, it wasn’t a big interest up until only recently. We are also wondering about the phone. He doesn’t have one and we’re not eager to provide one. Responsibility is the key-sometimes we think he’s more responsible than he is, then something happens and we go ‘ok then, not yet’ and scale back. It’s a bit like a science experiment isn’t it?

  2. Oh, my goodness. My nearly 13 year old son just got on facebook. The funny thing is that he friended everyone in the family. I laughed (without him knowing), because he just created a very wide circle of accountability. I love that.

    I know he’ll screw up. Let’s face it, I’ve screwed up with what I’ve said on social media, but I hope he’ll learn from it and mature.

    Best of luck to you. Being a mom is a tough job.

    • That is so good that he did that! That’s the key, knowing he will screw up and that it is ok, he is still loved and ultimately can trust us as parents to assist. Social media is too big to expect he will know what to do all the time…let alone us! We will have to learn to navigate together.

      Thank you for your kind words! All the best in your journey also.

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